A Letter to People Who Always Pointlessly Point Finger at Others

By Soksambath Pichny,

“Our score wouldn’t be this bad if only she had helped!”
“The teacher asked us too many questions compared to the other teams he intentionally wants us to fail”
“It’s ours! They stole it from us! Check the history!”

 

72730832679907.568ee8495ae95-min
© Lily Therens/2016/CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

 

I know when bad things happen, it’s better to just blame others than take responsibility. I know this because I do it too! It makes us feel better sometimes. It’s somehow a self-defense mechanism to maintain our self-esteem. Because it’s difficult to look into our own faults, painful even. It affects our pride, our ego.

So, the way we deal with problems is to blame them on other things besides ourselves! It’s also easier to see others’ mistakes and faults, and just blame all the problems on somebody else. It’s always about finding those who are guilty, and most of the time, it’s others!

Maybe sometimes you do it without being aware of it. Or sometimes you’re just too confident that you don’t think the mistakes are yours, when in fact, they are! You’re too busy blaming others that you don’t have the courage or time to realize your own mistakes.

Why is finger-pointing harmful?

You’re always quick to blame without even looking at the other side of the story. You always jump to conclusions and assume the worst of something or someone. The worst thing is when you point out the other peoples’ flaws, they can’t change and you don’t offer any solution or ideas for improvement.

By practicing this destructive habit, you actually help provoke more hatred, spread more fear and create more problems. A very small problem can also become a big one because of this self-defeating action. You always deny and refuse to accept that it’s your fault. Once you’re too caught up in this mindset, it’s really difficult for anyone to convince you otherwise that you could be responsible for the problem. There are no solutions, only more and more problems, and we’re all stuck in this eternal cycle of blaming!

eternal-blame-fest-slow
© Freshly Baked Type/2016

Please stop the blame game!

Therefore, this needs to stop! When you blame others pointlessly, all you’re doing is making others responsible for your own mistakes without even caring to reflect on what you did. So, it’s better to sit back and reflect on what you have contributed to the problem. Reflect yourself on the matter.

Own your mistakes and take responsibility! That’s how you develop and improve, because you learn from your mistakes. You would then try to correct yourself, find solutions and deal with the problems better. You’re not going anywhere if you keep playing the blame game.

Also, if you point out others’ mistakes, please do so constructively. Don’t just unfairly blame people! Offer help by giving recommendations on something they can change! There might be times when others did make mistakes that need to be addressed. But keep in mind that there’s a professional way to critique! Correct them and change them constructively. Make sure that what you asked for is something that they can change.

Please be part of the solution, not the problem!

Sincerely,
Pichny

Views expressed here are those of the author’s and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of UNICEF.

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